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Discoveries of a Mom

''If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.'' Mother Teresa

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discoveriesofamom

Mom of four, sharing some learnings along the way of parenthood.

Reaction time is under 3 seconds, if we manage to Reaction time is under 3 seconds, if we manage to slow down enough to bridge those first three seconds after walking in on whatever the newest experiment may be, we can then consciously - and calmly - choose our response. I am repeatedly surprised how few situations still seem dangerous or unreasonable after a few deep breaths have calmed down the sudden rush of blood in my body.... How do you calm yourself in these situations? Let me know in the comments 🙏🏻#experiment #howchildrenlearn #attachment #keepcalm #parenting
Children learn with time – and better so without c Children learn with time - and better so without correction and instruction. Their natural ability to imitate allows them to take in and learn everything that happens within their surroundings. It may just need another opportunity for them to observe you doing it, until they learn the next layer of this skill....So, whenever I am impatient, or tempted to correct and instruct, I try to remind myself of my drawing class, and how all it took was time and repetition for me to start seeing, and then drawing, an additional layer of shadow....#drawing #howchildrenlearn #patience #attachment #parenting
Another birthday invitation, another window pictur Another birthday invitation, another window picture.... When I'm asked what my hobbies are, this is what mostly comes to mind - home made gifts for the friends of my children....Who can guess which Grimm fairy tale it shows? Tell me in the comments below 🥳 #crafting #hobbies of #moms  #handmadegifts #fairytale
Do you have ways to make someone's day? I'd love t Do you have ways to make someone's day? I'd love to learn more ways to lift people's spirits.... #trust #trustworthy #oxytocin #community #positivevibes
Research is very clear, for long-term mental healt Research is very clear, for long-term mental health and resilience, it is important that children grow up with a sense of being safe in this world.  And so the question arises, how can we make our children feel safe, even when we are not physically with them? Calling them reliably is such a beautiful example of how to do this. In fact, my mother called me regularly (even if weekly) and reliably when I moved out of the home, and it did make me feel connected and safe even at the age of 17... #feeling #safe #secureattachment #parenting #howchildrenlearn
It does not take harsh words for children to stop It does not take harsh words for children to stop doing childish things... It only takes time and love of learning.The tulips will grow again next year, and if he has not learned it by then, it will only take another year for them to grow back again. But harsh words will remain in their hearts, and mine.... The echo of my shouting is still ringing in my ear.... Serving me as a reminder of how important it is that I place awareness on my internal state, and regulate myself whenever I encounter a trigger on my parenting journey....#children #tulipseason #attachment #howchildrenlearn #regulation
Life can get so busy that we can easily forget abo Life can get so busy that we can easily forget about these small moments of connection... And yet they mean everything. Taking the time to look at each other with love, can transform the relationship we have, creating a space of timelessness and joy.If you want to learn more about loving light, as Tessabella Lovemore describes this warm look of interest and regard, and other motifs that support a secure attachment, then come join the How Children Learn course I will be teaching soon! #lovinglight #howchildrenlearn #attachment #bonding #activepracticallove
Thank you to Eli Harwood, the @attachmentnerd for Thank you to Eli Harwood, the @attachmentnerd for this very on point picture of what goes on in the mind of an abusive person. When I heard it, my thoughts immediatedly turned to parenting, and how this dynamic plays out between parents and their children. I have certainly acted in ways towards my children that I can now see have been abusive. Not because I am a bad person, but because I was overwhealmed in the situation. And I have experienced my parents trying to control me when I was a child too. Again, not because they were bad people, but because they were overwhealmed too... The difficulty with this dynamic in parenting is though, that children cannot simply leave their parents as Eli says - at the most covert sign that their parent feels entitled to control them. Instead they will have to adapt, and will carry the scars into adulthood. They are likely to grow up thinking it is normal for parents to try and control their children (as I did when I first became a mom). Maybe even that it is normal to control any other person who is making them feel uncomfortable....Personally, I feel it always helps to look at a certain dynamic from an adult-to-adult perspective, to then understand what impact it has on a child. One example is crying - if a friend of mine is crying, I would open my arms wide and hold space for them, for as long as they need to regulate again. And when I picture it with a friend, I can feel how wrong it would be to close the door on them and ask them to regulate themselves. And that is how I can know I never want to do that with my children either. And so now, with Eli's explanaition, I can see how trying to control the behaviour of a child is abusive. And practise to be aware, and to solely focus on myself in moments of overwhealm...Let me know in the comments what you think about all this.... Sending love, Johanna#abuse #parenting #attachment #selfawareness #selfcontrol
A snail seems to be moving slowly but will move su A snail seems to be moving slowly but will move surprising distances while we are looking away.... Step by step, we can also reach our goals.... Let's not be discouraged by life keeping our steps small but remember that even small steps will get us to where we want to be. #progress #mompreneur #smallsteps #lovinglife #howchildrenlearn
The way we listen at the Active Practical Love ini The way we listen at the Active Practical Love initiative is similar to any other mindfulness practice which allows us to be fully present in the moment, and with the person we are listening to. This form of listening will enable us to remain in our parasympathetic state and co-regulate the speaker, should they be struggling to regulate themselves. In this way we can de-escalate a situation through listening. Comment 'listening' to find out more about my upcoming courses, or send this video to a friend who might be interested 😘
Instagram post 18575455720010975 Instagram post 18575455720010975
This goes out to all you dear people who are carin This goes out to all you dear people who are caring for moms who have just given birth.... Let's attune to the mom and her needs the way she uses all her available resources to attune to the baby she has birthed. Let's give her the comfort of knowing her needs are important and looked after too, while she is looking after her baby's needs. Let's envelope her in our love and care so she can fully focus on her baby, building a secure attachment and thus providing the best start to a healthy development for this new member of our family or community - our future. #postpartum #postnatalcare #secureattachment #loveandcare #howchildrenlearn
When asked why I forgive people whatever it is the When asked why I forgive people whatever it is they did that hurt me, I always say I do it for selfish reasons. Having been hurt, and then continuing to harbour feelings of upset and maybe even revenge, affects my quality of life more than theirs. And I don't want to give anyone power over my feelings. I want to choose my own state, my own feelings, and I choose peace and happiness for myself.... 😊 #revenge #forgiveness #choosehappiness #mentalize #empathy
How stress in pregnancy impacts the future of huma How stress in pregnancy impacts the future of humanity.... I wish I had been aware of the effects of maternal stress during pregnancy when I was pregnant. I did not realise that at the time of birth a baby's brain is developed up to 30%. During pregnancy, babies prepare themselves for the world they grow into based on the information they have available - mostly from the mother's response to the world: her hormones indicating her emotional state as well as her voice, her heart beat etc... If all of this is calm and joyful, the baby prepares to experience calm and joy. If this is stressful, the baby prepares for stress....Let us protect our future by protecting pregnant women in our societies. And I don't mean policing what they are allowed to do, but to support them, and surround them with loving care 💕#pregnancy #future #loveandcare #howchildrenlearn #activepracticallove
I found this on my morning walk and it reminded me I found this on my morning walk and it reminded me of how contagious a smile is 🤩 so let's flood this world with smiles - because, honestly, we can all do with a few more smiles right? #smile #positivevibes #lovelife #activepracticallove #howchildrenlearn
True listening happens out of our parasympathetic True listening happens out of our parasympathetic system, our calm and connect system. Having learnt as a child however that listening really means having to obey, we are not in our parasympathetic system when we listen. We are anxious to catch the details, trying to ensure we don't miss anything important. This will lead to us being tense, finishing sentences, and jumping to conclusions.... This anxiety, however deep below our level of consciousness, impacts the speaker. If we now learn to drop all these distractions, to continually come back into our calm state of connection, we can offer this state of calm to the other. And inner freedom for them to explore their thoughts...#listening #calm #innerfreedom #howchildrenlearn #activepracticallove
Everything is a phase – like the teething, and oth Everything is a phase - like the teething, and other sleep depriving parts of growing up and parenting... But also the taking-all-shoes-out-of-the-shelf-and-piling-them-in-front-of-the-door and the taking-out-all-clean-towels-and-hide-in-the-cupboard kind of scenarios.... Remembering it is only a phase, and it will pass, has helped me a lot in my endeavours to stay calm with my children and be able to enjoy their explorations of the world... and maybe it will help you too. If you would like more content then this, then please follow me or join one of my courses - I look forward to connecting with you ❤️#attachment #parenting #teething #sleeplessnights #calmandconnected
Join our listening course starting on Monday to ex Join our listening course starting on Monday to experience this inner stillness in listening. #learn #listening #mindfulness #selfdevelopment #parenting
As much as I enjoyed winter, I'm ready for spring As much as I enjoyed winter, I'm ready for spring coming around the corner 😍 #snowdrop #springhassprung #seasons #joyfilledliving #photooftheday
Morning walks facing the rising sun support seroto Morning walks facing the rising sun support serotonin production in the body which, in turn, supports a healthy wake and sleep cycle, and balances the harmony of our body...Together with oxytocin and endorphins, it sets us up for a joy filled life. #serotonin #morningwalks #activepracticallove #restore #mindfulness #momlifeisthebestlife
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Hi there, I would love to hear from you! Send me feedback, ask me questions, tell me what is on your mind. Sending love, Johanna

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