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Discoveries of a Mom

"If you want to change the world, go home and love your family." Mother Teresa

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discoveriesofamom

Mom of 4, sharing some learnings along the way of parenthood,
also a registered facilitator of Dr Tessabella Lovemore's Active Practical Love courses

This has been sitting with me for some time. When This has been sitting with me for some time. When I look at all the violence out there, it just makes it so clear how a community is only as happy as its least happy member. 

We can start to live in separate worlds, we can expect the 'good guys' to do the work, or we can step into our power and create spaces of belonging.

In these spaces, fear can fade, aggression will follow, and right brain capacities of self-regulation and empathy can develop.

Understanding the price in learning  opportunity boys have to pay as a result of their biological gender to develop, will help us to feel compassion and the wish to change their fate.

Although early learning is most efficient, neuroplasticity enables everyone to improve capacities within a safe right brain to right brain connection. 

#rightbrain #belonging #healingfear #together #activepracticallove
While I contemplated whether or not to post this r While I contemplated whether or not to post this reel I recorded last Friday, I realised what had happened to me... I had been trying to be a good girl. And when I couldn't anymore and was met with incomprehension, I exploded in good old doormat fashion....

Dr Tessabella Lovemore describes in the How to Love course how, when we did not receive enough of the love we needed during childhood, we attempt to be loved by becoming thieves or doormats. Either we continue to expect people to care for us, to fulfill our needs, to obey us, thus stealing love from others - or we desperately try to fulfill the needs of others, trying to anticipate their every wish without consideration of our own needs and limits, in the hope to receive love and appreciation in this way...

And then, when our strategy doesn't work out, and despite everything we have been doing, we still don't receive love and appreciation, we may well lose our sh*t in the way I did....
Again I am fascinated how understanding a dynamic helps me to stay regulated when next it happens. 

When we had a similar situation again today, I was able to remain calm and co-regulate him with the result that everyone went happily to kindergarten... I'm so grateful to have these concepts and exercises in my toolbox 🙏🏻

Check out my website if you want to find out more about these courses: www.discoveriesofamom.com

Let me know if you have these moments too? 
Sending you all love 😘 

#parenting #howchildrenlearn #attachment #coregulation #hardestjobintheworld
When I was a first time Mom, in fact way into bein When I was a first time Mom, in fact way into being a second time mom, I really struggled to regulate myself within some situations with my children. I noticed how I could stay absolutely calm with other people's children, but when mine did the exact same thing I lost it...

So clearly I needed help in managing this, and I'm so grateful to have met Dr Tessabella Lovemore and was able to attend her courses. The very practical exercises she offered in addition to teaching the theory in a unique way, really helped me look at the dynamics between me and my children in a different way - and gradually come out of my reactivity. 

I am teaching her courses now and if this resonates with you and you want to find out more, then please join me for a free taster session next week Tuesday (Oct 13) at 8pm CET for an hour of exploring what this course offers to all parents and professionals working with children. 

Here are the details:

Johanna Kazungu is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.

Topic: How Children Learn taster
Time: Oct 13, 2026 08:00 PM Amsterdam, Berlin, Rome, Stockholm, Vienna

Meeting ID: 856 3125 7329
Passcode: 686046

I look forward to seeing you 🤗 

#howchildrenlearn
#regulation #motherhood #unprepared #joinme
Have you ever had the experience of thinking your Have you ever had the experience of thinking your thoughts are perfectly logical, and then later realising they were nowhere near logical?

Dr Tessabella Lovemore shows in the How to Love course how criticism is envy expressing itself in our thinking. When I prepared to teach this part of the course a couple of weeks ago, I remembered my experience at the circus, how the first and second time I saw the dance performances, I believed my criticism to be appropriate and a response to what I saw. Only at the third time did I recognise a pattern and finally at the fourth time realised that my criticism had nothing to do with the girls I was watching and everything to do with my own life experience....

If you want to find out more about the How to Love course, join me for a free taster session! I would love to share with you more on this course and its life changing exercises. 🥰

#love #criticism #envy #authenticity #joinme
Getting ready to send handouts to my participants Getting ready to send handouts to my participants 💖

I'm so grateful to Tessabella Lovemore for creating these beautiful, rich, insightful handouts for each lesson. And so grateful to my colleagues for helping me translate them into German. Such a special task to try to capture the unique language and pictures and find their equivalent representation in German...

I'm so happy to see the first lot go out and look forward to finding out how they are received....

#participants #handouts #howchildrenlearn #activepracticallove #excited
Have you ever felt like the usual recommendations Have you ever felt like the usual recommendations for how to listen are influencing the course of the conversation a little too much? That the validation and summarising actually distracts from what really needs to be said? 

Dr Tessabella Lovemore has developed a different way of listening that grants the speaker full inner freedom - to speak about what they need to be heard in this moment. This is a real gift we can offer. If you want to learn how to offer this experience then join us next week in our listening training.

To find out more about Dr Tessabella Lovemore's courses check out her website at www.tessabellalovemore.com or mine at www.discoveriesofamom.com/en/listening-training

#listening #training
#innerfreedom #holdingspace #gift
Intergenerational trauma can be small, and still h Intergenerational trauma can be small, and still have a life long effect on your children, just as it has on you.... It can pass to the next generation through little moments of disconnection, moments where we fail to check our reaction and speak what we got to hear as children too....

I am grateful for these moments of awareness that allow me to witness the effect of what I said. They show me what I need to work on next. Trying to heal myself so I pass on as little as possible of my baggage to my children is a constant process. It feels like I need a sign ⛏️🪏 under construction 🏗️🚧 that I can move about from one part of my inner life to another.... 

It does not seem to ever end....

The "How Children Learn" course developed by teacher and psychologist Dr Tessabella Lovemore has helped me grow my awareness of these situations. 

Drop me a message if you want to join the next course starting in November 💖

Sending love 😘 
#innerchild #healing #intergenerational #trauma #howchildrenlearn
We only hear what we are ready to hear. Hence when We only hear what we are ready to hear. Hence when we are teaching, we need to stop thinking we can decide what they have to learn now. We can only offer knowledge, and they will learn what they are ready to learn, and all else will drop into their subconscious as a seed until such time as they are ready for it to emerge again into their consciousness. 

These thoughts make me so incredibly grateful to all the people in my life who have offered their knowledge to me - the kind I was ready to learn, and the kind that may have taken years to become conscious again....

So now that I am teaching, I will endeavour to offer both knowledge that can be absorbed and learned right now, and knowledge that is an investment in the future 💖 

#learning #gratitude #teachers #howchildrenlearn #activepracticallove
'What we need to know about testosterone to unders 'What we need to know about testosterone to understand how boys read the world' is a talk Dr Tessabella Lovemore will give next week, and everyone is warmly invited!

It will be a 30 minute presentation on zoom followed by 30 minutes of QnA.

Tessabella has been working with this subject for two years now and has developed a deep understanding of the relevant scientific studies. 

If you are relating to boys or men and frequently find yourself puzzled, this is for you.

If you are a man, this may show your life experience in a new light. 

Please let me know if you have any questions. Sign up on www.tessabellalovemore.com

#boys #howchildrenlearn
#understanding #testosterone #together
🎉 Noch wenige Plätze frei 🎉 Ihr Lieben, wenn ihr 🎉 Noch wenige Plätze frei 🎉

Ihr Lieben, wenn ihr das Gefühl habt Eltern sein ist der schwerste Job der Welt, dann habt ihr natürlich vollkommen recht. Das heißt aber glücklicherweise nicht, dass man es sich nicht leichter machen kann 🥰

Die Inhalte dieses Kurses haben für mich einen riesen Unterschied gemacht. Wenn man weiß wie das kindliche Gehirn sich aufbaut, was gekonnt und noch nicht gekonnt wird je nach Alter, dann kann man seine Erwartungen und Forderungen anpassen. Und so schwimmt man dann nicht mehr Fluss aufwärts sondern mit dem Strom.....

Durch die Geld-Zurück Garantie könnt ihr noch nach den ersten zwei Lektionen entscheiden ob dieser Kurs euch gut tut oder nicht. Und wenn nicht erstatte ich euch das von euch eingegangene Geld zurück ✅

Ihr könnt also nur gewinnen 😉💖

Schickt mir eine DM um euch anzumelden oder bucht über die Webseite in meinem Profil 🪪
Und vergesst nicht es eurer besten Freundin weiter zu leiten, damit ihr zusammen mitmachen könnt - geteilte Freude ist doppelte Freude 🥳

Ich freu mich auf euch 😍

#schwersterjob #mitdemstrom #kinder #bindungsorientiert #begleiten
This book is a great read and so helpful when tryi This book is a great read and so helpful when trying to raise securely attached children. 

Do check this out if you haven't yet! 
One of the tools I like to use is what he calls orientation. Giving the children a detailed description of what is going to happen so they can feel secure in knowing what to expect. 

I have recently used it again to start meditating. I have little time away from the children, and really, meditating is something worthy of imitation, so a prime activity to do in front of them anyway. 

I had been postponing it for a long time thinking they are not able to understand that I won't respond to their calls of attention but then remembered orientation. So I used it, and it has been working like a charm. Of course they have found it to be great fun to try and distract me, which really I should be grateful for, as it gives me the opportunity to exercise even more...😅

Do have a look at this book, share it with a friend, and let me know what you think of it in the comments 💖
Sending love 😘 

#howchildrenlearn #meditation #gordonneufeld #holdontoyourkids #settingexamples
Have you wondered about how to change what is happ Have you wondered about how to change what is happening in this world? How to create a future of peace and harmony? 

It will always have to start in our corner of the world, within our immediate circle of influence. When we build peace here, it can ripple out.... And the more of us doing it, the faster it will spread.

This course teaches tools to do just that. The inner peace we receive from understanding dynamics that would have left us ruminating for days is energising. The hands-on, practical exercises will bring peace into all our relationships, be that family, work or wider community. 

Every person we practice this Active Practical Love on will experience inner freedom to become more themselves. This will give them more capacities to love also.

Thus the peace 🕊️ and love 💕 can ripple out, and with each one we are closer to a golden future of connection, harmony, and abundance. 

Share this with your friends and join us now to be part of building this future 💖

Check out www.tessabellalovemore.com to find out more about Dr Tessabella Lovemore who created this and more courses, as well as the Active Practical Love initiative which owns the courses. 

And see on www.michelekaye.com and www.discoveriesofamom.com what else Michele and I offer. 

We look forward to sharing this journey with you 💗

#peace #love #activepracticallove #goldenfuture #letsdothistogether
I'm starting a new course in two weeks time – join I'm starting a new course in two weeks time - join me to discover new ways to connect with the children in your life. 

Created by psychologist and anthroposophical psychotherapist Dr Tessabella Lovemore, this course is for those who care for children, and those who want to understand how their own childhood experiences are causing them problems today.

Out of the 12 lessons half are presenting how the optimal learning environment would be within a safe attachment, and what happens when fear learning is a regular component. The second half of the course focuses on how to heal what may have gone wrong due to our own childhood injuries. 

This course can prepare us for the parenting journey, can support us while we are in the trenches, and has the potential to turn these trenches into green meadows - a joy filled life for us and our families. 

(The icons on the photo are generated with AI, everything else is human intelligence - as in: mine 😅) 
#attachment #parenting #turningdrudgeryintojoy #howchildrenlearn #learningtolove
I am not particularly good at gardening but I love I am not particularly good at gardening but I love it. One of the things that are particularly rewarding is growing fruit and vegetables. But when I tried to do that I realised how having toddlers in the house makes it extra difficult. 
The tomatoes I grew were always plugged green, and one of the children tried eating them repeatedly until she was so convinced tomatoes are disgusting that she didn't even eat red ones any more....
So I gave it up for some time. This year I thought let me give it another try as the littlest one is over three now and already understands when we tell him to wait for them to turn red.

The one thing I hadn't thought of was how quick they are to notice what they like. Since we have had these tomatoes, they were all eaten straight from the bush, by whoever was first, or accepted the lightest shade of red, or should I say orange....?

But last night we returned from a two week holiday and so finally this morning I was able to harvest a whole lot of red tomatoes 🤗 

I am hoping for them to notice how much better they taste when they are red, and start leaving them on the stem longer. 

And for myself, I learnt that I need to plant a lot more tomatoes if I want any left for cooking 😅😇

Sending love 💕 

#gardening #parenting #howchildrenlearn #growingyourownfood
Let's be honest, if there was a situation which ca Let's be honest, if there was a situation which caused our lid to flip, and if we then have said words or done deeds in this state of irrationality, we are likely to calm down and realise what happened and we will know we messed up...

Unless of course someone, whose opinion we remotely care about, comes along and says: "what on earth were you thinking???? How could you..... etc etc....
Because now we will feel compelled to explain and find reasons for what we did, and may even end up defending the undefendable....

So what a gift it is to not demand an explanation, to use our own human experience to draw conclusions, to have compassion and say "I get you! I absolutely understand, and I'm so sorry you had to go through this.... Let's take a break together and find a different way."

How different this world would be if we could do this for each other....

Share this with a friend or family member you want to tell: I get you! 

The How to Love course by Dr Tessabella Lovemore teaches new ways of being with each other, of giving inner freedom and creating a more compassionate and interconnected world. If you would like to find out more check out her website on www.tessabellalovemore.com or mine at www.discoveriesofamom.com/en/howtolove for upcoming courses.

#compassion #empathy #innerfreedom #howtolove #messingup
Today it has been one year since I started this ch Today it has been one year since I started this channel. 120 posts and 424 followers later - I would like to take a moment and appreciate all that has happened through this sharing. 
Thank you all for being here and supporting me. I appreciate every single one of you 💕

I send you so much love! 

#celebration
#anniversary
#thankyou❤️
How do we know that what looks the same is likely How do we know that what looks the same is likely going to taste the same? 

Today I got to witness one way of how this knowledge is acquired....

With child # 1 I would not have been able to watch this happen, as my conditioning would have compelled me to step in. With child # 4 it is so much easier for me to simply observe the learning process as I myself have embodied knowledge of how everything is a phase only, and worthwhile going through.

Now I know it has value to observe what learning is happening before stepping in to stop what at first glance may look like a waste of resources...

And the more I do this, the more I realise that there is always learning happening.... Another reframe that helps me to stay calm these days....

Let's all support each other to find those kinds of reframes that allow us to stay calm and connected with the children in our care.... And please share this with a mom who might find this helpful on her journey to get over her own conditioning in favour of the connection to her child 💕

Thank you for being here - I appreciate you 💕 

Sending love, Johanna

#parenting #secureattachment #calmandconnected #thecostofeducation #thereisalwayslearning
Have you noticed a change from when your youngest Have you noticed a change from when your youngest turned 3/3,5 years? Is live becoming easier as synchronicities happen more and more, and everything seems to be falling into place? 

I had this with my first born but haven't experienced it again now, and so, me thinks, my body is just set too strongly in a sympathetic dominant state.... So I've been working on making this change happen consciously by examining what are the things that calm down my body, and then do them more often. Hopefully eventually tipping the scales and returning to a parasympathetic dominant state. 

What works for me is swimming, meditation, walking slowly (we call it "schlendern" and it is the speed you'd use to walk past your favourite shop to be able to still enjoy the display....)
And I aim to do these things several times per week....

What helps your body to calm down? Please share with me in the comments 💖 

Thanks for sharing your experience with me and for being here. I appreciate you 💕

Sending love, Johanna

#parasympathetic #parenting #newborns #toddlers #activepracticallove
One of Tessabella Lovemore's gifts to humanity is One of Tessabella Lovemore's gifts to humanity is her concept of #lovinglight.... 

When we look into someone's eyes with an open heart and a warm interest, loving light pours out of our eyes and facial expression. It is a gift of human connection. It gives joy and calm at the same time, to them first and then flowing back to us - so we benefit as much as the one we look at....

We all need more #connection #acceptance and #humanity and loving light is such a wonderful way to promote them all.

If you want to find out more about Dr Tessabella Lovemore's courses check out www.tessabellalovemore.com or my website with all dates of upcoming courses www.discoveriesofamom.com

#activepracticallove
When we think of mastery, it is so unbelievably ea When we think of mastery, it is so unbelievably easy to think: I'm nothing special, I haven't mastered anything.... There are all these amazing people out there who do exceptional things, but me, what do I do exceptionally? 

And if you have asked yourself this question, then I'm here to tell you (and me too ☺️....) you are exceptional at being you! No one has ever or will ever be as good at being you, as you are. 

If Bond had been a historical figure, every actor impersonating him would try to be as close to the original as possible, and we would judge their skill by how well they manage to represent the original. There would be no discussion of who is the best Bond, because of course the real Bond would always be the best Bond. 

And this is true for you. You are the best you, and this world is richer for having you in it 💕

Let's support each other at mastering being you, and you, and me 🥰 every little decision helps us figure ourselves out more, and becoming masterfully us.

#mastery #authentic #beingyourself #beingme #activepracticallove
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Hi there, I would love to hear from you! Send me feedback, ask me questions, tell me what is on your mind. Sending love, Johanna

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